


Favorite Things

by stormcorona



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Babies, Comedy, F/M, Fluff, Mentioned Major Character Death, Singing, The Sound of Music - Freeform, infertility issues, oof ouch i slipped and posted another two-shot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-30
Updated: 2020-07-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:07:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25605577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stormcorona/pseuds/stormcorona
Summary: Featuring very poorly spoofed lyrics by yours truly. Really, the story is just a vehicle to bring you those lyrics.
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Severus Snape
Comments: 10
Kudos: 90





	Favorite Things

**Author's Note:**

> There's a plan for another chapter. No idea when it will be done. Love you all!

Loving Lily Evans had been easy. 

Of course, there was the rejection heard ‘round the world, as Hermione so affectionately referred to it as, but besides that? Easy. She was statuesque, beautiful, idyllic, and perfectly untouchable. It was easy to fantasize her, especially after her tragic sacrifice. Projection, and all that.

Loving Hermione Granger? Not so much. 

It was messy. It was heated. It was difficult. Severus frequently wondered if he ought to kill her, him, or maybe both of them. It was like phosphorous fire: it stuck to everything that touched it, and consumed all of his life. (Or was that her hair?) Maybe that was because they were best friends, colleagues, and basically saw each other every single day of the year, to the point where the woman had so insidiously wormed her way into his life that Severus felt like if she left, someone might as well tear him in half. 

Physically. Tie him to a carriage of thestrals, draw and halve him. Vertically, too, no easy way out for him.

Despite that rather angsty description, Severus was forced to admit that the insufferable woman was likely the healthiest thing he’d had in his life since that one time he ate peas on accident. She was supportive. She got him to go to therapy. She took his side, forgave his stupidities, and generally had found ways for Severus to fulfill all the categories in Maslow’s Hierarchy of Gee Howdy Those Might Be Nice Wouldn’t It Have Been Cool If I Had All Of These Before I Tried To Kill Myself In Two Wars. 

Dear sweet fuck he was so gone for her. 

Which was why it hurt like a little bitch when she started spending less time with him. Five years of we’re-definitely-not-married bliss, and then she just… started taking nights alone. Without him. She seemed tired, went on shopping trips with strange frequency, and… and… other suspicious activities. Which didn’t involve him. And that hurt, because he wanted to be there for all the suspicious activities.

It was the day before winter break. He was ecstatic to see all the kids go, because it typically meant that he and Hermione would have the castle to themselves. Minerva had begun to move to a bungalow in Fiji during breaks, citing arthritis, but Severus had overheard from literally half of the staff that Minnie’s old bones just couldn’t take the sheer sexual tension that apparently existed between himself and Hermione. Without any sane adult around, the two of them would get to banter and sit by a roaring fire and drink tea and he would just get to bask in her presence. 

Instead, though, that night, she looked harried and haggard. 

“I suppose you’re not up for a nightcap?” he asked, feeling ever more tentative in his overtures of friendship. Stupid woman. Convincing him to be comfortable with her, just to take it all away… he should’ve known. 

She shook her head. “Sorry, Sev’. I’m exhausted.” 

And it all came boiling up. 

“You’re seeing someone, aren’t you.” His voice had dropped dangerously. 

Hermione stopped outside her door, which was suspiciously right next door to his. Their sitting rooms were joined. Neither of them had asked for this, and neither were sure whether Minerva or the castle had decided on it. “What?” 

“You’re seeing someone,” he replied.

“Severus,” she said with a sigh, “The only ‘someone’ I am seeing with any frequency is you. I’m just tired a lot recently.” She dispelled the wards on her room, and opened the door.

“Then why do you keep cancelling our--” Severus froze, because he wasn’t sure how to really say ‘friendship activities’ without sounding like some stunted teen forced into ice breakers at a low budget public school troubled child group counselling. Which was all he really had experience in, besides getting rejected by Gryffindors. 

“Severus.” The tone was different this time, pleading. She reached for his hand. He snatched it back. “I--” 

“We used to talk about potions until two in the morning,” he snarled. “Now you can barely find time to speak to me outside of meals. You could at least have the courtesy to tell me that you’re tired of me, instead of leading me on.” 

“Severus Snape!” she snapped right back at him. “I understand that you have a significantly insecure attachment style, but could you just give me the benefit of the doubt? I’m tired, okay! It’s like five years of friendship mean nothing!” 

Guilt cinched tight like a noose around his stomach. He ignored it and ploughed onwards with the courtesy and sensitivity of a rampaging erumpent. “You’re one to talk!” He advanced a step. “You’re hiding something. I know you are. Do you think I wouldn’t notice all the time you spend in your room or away from the castle? I wasn’t a spy for nothing, woman, I--”

There was a cry. 

Hermione looked like she had just been dunked into one of Fluffy’s more pungent poops. Severus felt like his heart stopped for a solid five seconds, which was longer than the time with the snake. 

That was… a baby’s cry. Coming from her room. 

She sighed. “I’m sorry, Severus.” His panic increased. Sorry for what? He didn’t have long to ponder it. “I should’ve just… told you. I just… it wasn’t my secret, and… I was hoping… well, whatever.” 

“H-... Hermione?” 

Hermione swung her door open. “I can show you?” It was a plea. Not that Severus ever had any choice in the matter.

Severus hadn’t felt this out of depth since the first time he thought his dad killed his mom. 

He stepped into her rooms, the door swinging shut behind them. Hermione went over to a bassinet that he didn’t recognize, and pulled out a squalling baby, hushing it. 

“Uh,” he said. “What is that.” 

“Sit down, Severus, you look like I could blow on you and you’d fall over.”

She probably could. Severus decided she had a point, and fell heavily into the couch. 

Hermione sat down beside him. “This is Aurelia,” she said. The little baby (???) burbled curiously at him, apparently reassured now that there was less shouting happening. “I… only the house elves know about her.” 

“Is she--I mean, I didn’t see--... When would you even--?” Severus blinked, and managed, “But you didn’t look pregnant.” 

The baby was still burbling, and reached out to him. Severus stared down the hand. Hell no. 

“Do you remember Lavender, my roommate?” 

Severus nodded. 

“She’s been having a… rough time after the war. After Ron died. She showed up at my house right before school started,” Hermione said. “She had Aurelia with her. Stayed one night. Vanished the next day. Left the baby. So… I… I took care of her. I couldn’t just send her away.” 

Aurelia burbled at him again, and clambered from Hermione’s lap. Severus watched the larva wriggle across the couch cushions and onto his lap. Happy bubbling noises came from the zygote, as she began to chew on his robes, or something. 

“Uh-huh,” Severus replied, intelligently. 

“I don’t know who the father is. I was thinking maybe Harry and Draco would like to adopt her, but I don’t know when they’ll be ready, and… I want her to have a stable home.” 

Severus nodded again, and this time it was a little more than just the action. He knew what it was like to have an unstable home. 

“It’s just so much to do on my own,” Hermione sighed, and Severus reached out, tentatively. She took his hand, and squeezed it, sending his heart fluttering like a fairy in a hall of mirrors. Oh no, he was NOT going to get suckered into raising a baby. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I thought maybe Lavender would come back for her, but… I guess not. Even if she did, I’m not sure I could--or should--give her Aurelia back. I don’t think she’s ready to be a mother.” 

Severus wanted to make the point that Hermione was likely not ready to be a mother either, but he couldn’t really find the words. So he just nodded. Besides, his Hermione had always been ready to do things when the world threw them at her, regardless of what she ought to be doing. 

“Severus…” He looked up at her tentative tone. She was worrying at her lip again. “Do you… that is… would you mind just staying a little bit? I need to take a shower, and it’d be nice to have someone watch her.” 

He stared at the baby on his lap. “I’m only staying as long as she’s sitting on me. Then I bolt.” 

Hermione snorted. “Fair enough.” She offered him a heart-shatteringly authentic smile. “Thanks, Severus.” 

As she stood up and went into her bedroom, Severus stared at the infant. With the shock wearing off, he began to feel… other things. 

He’d always wanted a daughter. It had always been his most shameful imagining with Lily, the one that he kept locked secret even from Tom and Albus. Too close to his heart, too embarrassingly unrealistic. 

For the past five years, he’d been playing at married life with Hermione. Too cowardly to actually ask her out, too needy to give her the space she needed to find someone else, someone more functional. And now, there was a baby in their little pretend. 

Maybe… maybe. 

Aurelia looked up at him and gurgled. Severus tilted his head at her. Weird. He could already feel all those parental hormones people talked about. 

Ugh. How the hell did he get suckered into raising a baby? 

***

Hermione wasn’t sure how Severus was finding Aurelia. She suspected he was more attached than he let on, but she didn’t have evidence, and he was famously recalcitrant. They’d started spending time with each other like they had before, and god, how she’d missed him. Which was weird, because he was snarky and rude and him, but she had missed him so terribly. 

She had been terrified to introduce him to Aurelia. He’d previously said he wasn’t a baby person, and she’d been so scared that he would run like the wind--and sensibly so. 

But then, one afternoon, she’d just awoken from a nap. Severus was watching Aurelia while she caught up on sleep lost the night before from the same aforementioned Aurelia. She emerged quietly from her room, aware that Aurelia might be napping and that was sacred silence not to be disturbed. 

Instead, she found Severus levitating a giggling Aurelia around the room as he mock-waltzed with her… singing. 

Singing. 

_“Dewdrops on mandrakes and whiskers on kittens…”_

She knew that song. That was Favorite Things, from the _Sound of Music._ Except… these lyrics were… different. 

_“Clean pewter cauldrons and the best scotch in Britain…”_ Aurelia giggled as Severus twirled her through the air. 

Holy shit, Hermione thought. He’s gonna kill me if he knows that I saw this. His baritone voice was beautiful like smooth honey and caramel, with deep tones like a priceless cello, and Hermione swore that he must’ve received professional training at some point. Or, if he hadn’t… he’d missed his future as a singer.

 _“Freshly picked dittany prepared for mixing; these are a few of my favorite things.”_ He gently lifted Aurelia up above his head, and she flailed all her limbs, giggling and grinning at him. 

Severus swept Aurelia down, cradling her against his chest. _“When the Mutt bites, when the snake stings, when I’m feeling sad--”_ he lifted her up and again, her eyes shining with laughter _“--I simply go scare a few hundred young kids, and then I don’t feel--”_ another twirl, to a gurgle of giggles _“--so bad!”_

Hermione knew in that moment was that she’d never been more in love in her life.


End file.
